Life Can Bury You. It Doesn't Get to Define You.
Updated: Oct 7
What rising really looks like when life doesn't go according to plan.
By Tracey McLeod | Founder, Shift 2 Rise
I don't know anyone who has reached a certain point in life without collecting some rubble.
Loss. Disappointment. Plans that didn't work. Relationships that changed. Health challenges. Professional setbacks. Doors that closed when we were absolutely certain they were supposed to remain open.
I've had my own share.
I've lost people I love. I've been part of an entire department that was eliminated when a company decided the work could be done less expensively. I've navigated health challenges. I've watched a long marriage end. I've had moments when the life in front of me looked nothing like the one I thought I was building.
And I'm still here.
But I want to be careful with that sentence. Because "I'm still here" isn't the same thing as "nothing affected me." It did.
I think we've misunderstood resilience
We often celebrate resilience as though the strongest person is the one who gets knocked down and immediately jumps back up.
I'm not convinced that's strength.
Sometimes strength is lying there for a minute and admitting:
That hurt.
Sometimes you need to grieve. Sometimes you're angry. Sometimes you're confused. Sometimes you don't have a beautifully inspirational interpretation of what just happened.
You don't have to.
I don't believe meaningful transformation requires us to pretend difficult things weren't difficult. And I don't believe every painful experience needs to be wrapped in a motivational quote before we're allowed to move forward.
Some things are simply hard.
We acknowledge the rubble. We just don't build our permanent home inside it.
That's the difference
There comes a point when the question changes.
It stops being only:
Why did this happen to me?
And becomes:
Given that it happened, who do I choose to be now?
That question has changed my life more than once. Not because it erases what happened. It doesn't. But because it puts something incredibly important back into my hands:
Choice.
I may not control every event. I may not control another person's decisions. I may not control an organization's choices. I certainly cannot rewrite yesterday. But I can decide what I do with today.
Rising isn't one giant decision
This is another thing I think we've gotten wrong. We imagine transformation as a breakthrough moment. Music swells. Everything suddenly makes sense. We announce our new life. Monday morning arrives and apparently we're a completely different human being.
Wouldn't that be convenient?
Real change is usually quieter.
It happens when you recognize the pattern you've been repeating. When you interrupt the automatic response. When you choose something different - even when the old choice would be easier. And when you repeat that new choice enough times that it begins changing what you believe is possible.
That's the thinking behind the RISE Method I use in my work:
RECOGNIZE - See what is actually happening.
INTERRUPT - Create space between the pattern and your automatic response.
SHIFT - Choose a response that better serves who you are and where you're going.
ELEVATE - Turn that choice into a new standard for how you live, communicate and lead.
Simple? Yes. Always easy? Absolutely not.
You are allowed to become someone your past didn't predict
Your history deserves to be acknowledged. It does not deserve unlimited authority over your future.
Something can have shaped you without being allowed to define you forever.
We don't deny it. We don't minimize it. We don't pretend it didn't leave marks.
We ask:
What did I learn?
What did I develop?
What am I carrying that no longer belongs in the next chapter?
What do I choose now?
That's movement.
Sometimes rising means changing your definition of winning
After 30 years working in sales, media, management and leadership, I've spent a lot of time around achievement: targets, revenue, rankings, awards, growth and performance.
I believe in excellence. I love seeing people discover what they're capable of.
But achievement without connection can become a very beautiful cage.
You can win according to every external measure and quietly wonder why it doesn't feel the way you thought it would.
That's why I believe success also has to include recognizing yourself inside the life you've created.
Do your choices honour what matters to you?
Do you have a voice in your own life?
Do you like who you are becoming?
Are you alive inside your days - or simply efficient at getting through them?
Those questions matter too.
Maybe you're standing in the rubble right now
If you are, I'm not going to tell you to "just think positively." I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason. And I'm certainly not going to tell you to get over it.
I will tell you this:
Don't underestimate what may still be underneath it.
Your strength. Your voice. Your humour. Your curiosity. Your ability to love. Your ability to learn. Your ability to create. Your capacity to choose again. Your capacity for joy.
You are the magic. Sometimes we just have to find it again.
And maybe today isn't the day you rebuild everything. That's okay.
Maybe today you simply move one piece of rubble. Then another. And eventually you discover something extraordinary.
There you are.
Life can bury you. It doesn't get to define you.
If you're ready to move from recognition into change
Recognize who you are. Rise into the life you're meant to lead.
Together We Rise.
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